Swazi So Far!

Wow I can’t believe that I’ve already been on the field for three weeks! It is so incredible to see the work that God does in such short time. In a small yet noticeable way I have been seeing transformation wreck my life these past few  weeks… seeing God doing things in me that I’ve been trying to fix on my own for so long, through simply giving me a new heart that reflects one of His. It’s incredible!

Travel to Swazi was definitely a long and challenging 60 hours. Fighting a lot of emotions that were due to lack of sleep and long flights, as well as the desire to just get there already. Although adjusting to the time change was pretty easy, the first day I was exhausted, but after that I quickly got into the swing of things! Around us are literally two things— a gas station, grocery store, market-type place… and then a safari restaurant. So to say there’s not much is do is not me being dramatic!

Slowly but surely this has definitely started to feel more like “home” and I’ve gotten to make my space more my own which has been super sweet. I have pictures of my beautiful family above my bed and some letters including one my sister wrote me that I look at every night. I share a room and bathroom with 15 other girls but it has honestly been so fun! I love having them there.

We are also sharing this base with another squad from the world race who are doing the semester’s program, which is not quite 3 months long, so this is their last country and then they go home. It’s been nice to get to know them and have some new people to get closer to and connect with!

Some things to know about Swazi… the weather is very temperamental! One day it’s 100 degrees, and the next it’s 70. The bugs— I have never been one to hate bugs and I never would want to be called a sissy… but man… when these bugs come flying at me and touch me I lose my mind! Screaming like you’d think I got bitten by a black mamba. Oh yeah… we’ve got those too! Everything here is huge and poisonous. The very first thing I saw when I got out of the van after arriving at our base in Nsoko was the biggest spider I’ve ever seen… literally could fit in the palm of my hand. God has definitely strengthened me to be brave and not let it bother me anymore, but I’m not going to lie the first couple of days I had a very poor attitude about the critters here. I was not a fan to say the least.

Well now that I’ve given you a good look into my life here I would love to tell you about the biggest part of what I do which is ministry! Every day each team here goes to separate care-points to serve different communities around us. Some teams drive as far as an hour and others as close as a minute walk. My team has a 30 minute drive to our care-point called Mahabanen. We stay from 9:30am-4pm and have on average 110 kids every day. We feed the kids one meal in the afternoon and play all sorts of games, do all kinds of dances, and sing all types of songs while we’re there. We’ll also go do house visits some mornings and bring different families food, share the gospel with them, and listen to their stories. House visits are cool because we learn so much about the community and culture here and I love to see their contentment with what little they have. We also walk pretty far to most houses so I love to get to walk alongside the mountains!

Because there are only 7 girls on my team, I have at least 5 kids on me at all times. Grabbing my hands, arms, wrapping their arms around me, anything they can do to get as close as possible to me.

That’s the thing that breaks my heart the most. Not the lack of any physical or material needs these kids have… but the emotional need for love. It’s so evident that these kids just want to be loved by someone. Sometimes I can get upset because it’s hot and I’ve already played with them so much and they won’t leave me alone for a second to take a break. Or they’ll force themselves onto my lap or into my arms. Or even when I hear that the kids are trying to scare each other or the younger ones to stop coming up to us and asking us to hold them by telling them that they’ll beat them if they do because they want my attention all to themselves. I get upset because I don’t understand— they’ve experienced something I’ve never gone through— something I couldn’t even imagine.

Did you know that almost every child here has been physically abused at least once in their life. And that only 10% of kids grow up with both parents, even if they’re just in the picture. It’s so common too, to leave your kids with someone else to raise. Even my Shepherd who leads the care point I go to doesn’t see either of her kids often. One every holiday and the other 12 times a year. They’re not grown either… these kids are around 9 and 6 years old. Kids who need their mother’s love. I just simply don’t understand. But it has grown my heart so much to love them the way that Jesus does. Each day I show up with more compassion. More empathy. More of a willingness to put my needs aside to be what these kids need. Because sometimes it’s hard when it’s hot and you don’t feel like having kids sit on your lap, or play out in the sun for hours, or pull and tug at your hair trying to braid it but ending up tying it into knots. But once again I am reminded of the opportunity I get. To show up. To love. To be a vessel— God’s hands and feet to the very people He calls His beloved.

I’ve struggled for so long to have a loving heart towards others. Even ones close to me. But God has utterly transformed me to where I don’t recognize my old self. And I’m recognizing it starts with the renewing of your mind from Romans 12. A new perspective! God has opened my eyes to the heart He has for His people. And He’s given me the opportunity to act on the desires of His heart. To love these kids as He would.

It’s such a privilege to share the love of Jesus with these kids. To tell them stories about how much the God above loves them. To teach them to walk closer with Him and learn to love each other as God calls us to. Praying that hopefully the impact I can make is that when I’m gone and they are once again without love they learn to be it for each other.

I wish that life didn’t have to be this way— how unfair it is that these kids have to go through things like this. But instead of questioning God I’m leaning into what He’s doing and using the opportunity He’s given me to give Him glory in this.

Thank you Jesus for what you’re doing in this place! Thank you Jesus for what you’re doing in me!

Here are some photos of these sweet kids that have captured my heart 🤍