The biggest decision I’ve ever made in my life— the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. It’s one that took 16 years to be planted in my heart. Many months of deciding if I could ever do it. One year of preparation. And nine months to accomplish. And it’s coming to a fast close. A couple hours and I’m home with my family. Remaining in Medina, Ohio until God calls me else where. It’s a weird, exciting but terrifying, feeling. The unknown of the future and the known of how the Lord moves in such mysterious ways… the possibilities for where my life goes— it’s endless.

I’m so grateful that the Lord gave me the strength to see this trip through. I have made so many memories. Met so many special people. And had my eyes opened completely to the Lord’s hand over this earth. I remember the struggling weeks leading up to this trip. So much fear and a lack of desire to be obedient to the Lord. I knew He was asking me to go, but I didn’t understand why. I knew I would never regret this trip, but it was still hard to say yes. I held on to the hope of something more. Something bigger than myself. Bigger than my thoughts and dreams. And boy did I find it. I’ve gotten to love and serve some of the most broken hearted people. I’ve been apart of the Lord’s divine intervention in so many people’s lives. I’ve made the most incredible memories. Seen the most eye opening things. Experienced parts of this world that many never go to and those who live there never leave.

Reminiscing on this trip, the people I’ve met, memories I’ve made, and things I’ve gotten to be apart of— I’m realizing just how different each chapter was.

Swazi was a beautiful time for my squad to connect just girls and boys, being separated in different cities. I learned to live a very slow pace of life, filled with such beauty around me. We got to serve and see the same kids everyday. Building such deep and intentional relationships with them that made leaving the hardest out of all the countries. I remember angry kids finding joy in the love we got to show them. I remember the purpose I felt in seeing the needs those people had being fulfilled. They are truly a desperate community for the Lord. Ministry was our life. The only thing we did/could do. And I loved it! I remember the wondrous feeling of driving to our carepoint and seeing Zebras or Giraffes wildly roaming. Or walking around the base at night and my flashlight reflecting off of the scales of a black mamba in the tall grass. Looking back my heart swells because that time was so special and it takes leaving to realize it.

Malaysia was a quick turn around from life in Swazi. The fastest paced culture I’ve ever been apart of. I went from asleep at 8:30pm to being up till 2am. We had so many opportunities to be apart of the community there and did so many things. We taught at a refuge school twice a week and then went to a special needs bakery the other two days. We did soccer ministry. Put on church services everyday of the week. Made connections with other churches and spoke at their services. Went caroling the week leading up to Christmas from 7:30pm-2am. Went to random peoples homes for a meal. If there was a door God was opening, we ran through it. Malaysia was my hardest country for many reasons, but highlighting the good from it has helped me look back on that time so fondly!

Guatemala was a season to be refreshed— coming off of a difficult country the Lord knew we needed people to pour into us so we could continue to pour out. There is a beautiful AIM base in Guatemala that I like to call paradise. So much room to play games outside, beautiful view of the volcanoes, BEDS! Because it was an AIM base, Adventures In Missions staff lived down there and poured so much life in my squad. We opened the word together many times a week studying scripture and the Church over the years. I felt so close to the Lord in this country, just hearing His voice and growing at an uphill climb. It was so sweet to work alongside very established ministers there. And I loved the relationship I grew with the kids and ministry hosts. It was also nice to have a lot of opportunity for evangelism in Guatemala— dedicating one day a week to do so. And of course my highlight was getting to serve with my parents for a whole week at the end!

Last but not least, Honduras, probably my favorite country and sweetest ending to being on the field. We lived side by side with our ministry. Sleeping in tents and being in close community with our squad and the people we were serving. I got a raw glimpse into the reality of what it looks like for the majority of this world to survive. Broken, falling apart homes. Scraping along just to eat. So much abuse, anger, and pain in those homes. People wanting a better life but stuck in the circumstances of their country. Lack of jobs, opportunity, and help for many of these people. We got to put on many events at our farm and invite women and kids to learn about the Lord and His love. Taught them things to make life a little easier. Gave them a hope. We lived simply. Got to make so many memories of just being together. Developed close connection to our hosts. Lived in the beautiful mountains of Comayagua. It was a dream! Honduras taught me a lot about being content. Because this life is full of such discontentment. I realized how soon the race was ending and how I often looked to each season as “the grass will be greener”. Each country, month, event. I was waiting for things to get brighter ahead and realized that the grass is green where you water it. So I got to watering. I poured into my team, my squad, our ministry hosts, the community I was around. I didn’t let anything go to waste. And I think that was a big part of why Honduras was so sweet. Because I stopped looking to the people ahead of me and looked at the people right in front of me.

Going home so soon I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’m entering a world that used to be my normal but now feels so foreign. Living a way I haven’t in almost a year. I have fear towards myself. That I’ll stop this living at accelerated speed for Jesus. That I’ll make mistakes and disappointment people. Most importantly disappointment God. There’s a lot of condemnation for coming home that’s being spoken over my heart. The enemy is definitely trying to attack the good thing the Lord has done in me over this trip. So keep me in your prayers because my journey with the Lord isn’t over after I come home. I still have a lifetime of refinement in store. I know God is going to use me and has a plan for my life that’s going to lead to His glory— but the enemy doesn’t know what that is. He knows God’s going to use me so he intervenes and attacks. But my faith is remaining strong as I lean closer to the Lord.

The race is an experience like none other. And I know that it’s not what God has for everyone, but it’s definitely what He had for me. I’m very grateful for how one experience can change the course of your life forever. To going from living a life with Jesus, to living a life FOR Jesus. My eyes have been opened and my heart has changed. Words on a page can say lot a but conversations from the heart speak volumes more. So prepare for me to share, because He’s been too good to me not to. And I’m gonna testify!

I’m so grateful for all the ways you all have walked alongside me in this journey. Your prayers, support, love—I have felt the power of. They have strengthened me through some of the driest seasons of my life. So thank you for the ways you’ve supported me over this last year. It has made so much bigger of an impact than you realize!

I’m homeward bound and so expectant for how the Lord will move. Medina, Ohio here I come🤍